we swam today. practice was pretty good. nothing really embarrassing to report. i actually got a compliment from kk today. from memory, here was my workout:
200 warm up
6x100 easy free
1x50 kick
pyramid set: 100, 200, 300, 200, 100
3x75 drill, easy, sprint
total: 1975 yards
so i have about 11 minutes until my 30th birthday. at first, i was really excited about it - that was about a month ago. as it got closer and closer to the day, i've started to feel more and more melancholy. i'm mourning the passing of my 20s. i remember how confident i felt about being in my 20s. that the world was mine, that things were going well. that i was on the right path. but now at the dawn of my 3rd decade, i've come to find that i'm not where i wanted to be at this point in my life.
for the past couple days, i've walked by this whiteboard in our office on which a quote is written, "make every second count, for a second lost cannot be regained." sure, i've heard that saying before, mainly in the form of "carpe diem," but every time i passed it in the hall, i questioned myself. have i done that? did i make the most of my 20s? are there things that i could have done when i was younger that i can't do now? am i mourning the loss of my youth? do i really feel old? no, not really. but what is it? do i feel regret? tell me, pointes high pointers.
1 minute and counting.
so, the ortopedist gave me a clean bill of health - and a prescription for an mri today. talk about a contradiction. :) heh, no actually, the mri prescription is "plan b." "plan a" is to go on about by business, meaning continue training (YAY!) and just pay attention to my knee to see if it doth protest. if it does, then plan b is to get an mri. but doc #3 says i should be a-ok in a month or so. he did, however, let loose a huge groan when i told him i was training for a triathlon. but his words were, "as far as i'm concerned, you can do anything you want." but he said to make sure i was realistic about things, and to go to plan b if i even had a question about the health of my knee. that said. running tomorrow!! (but i promise to take it easy).
a digression:
even though everyone is tired of hearing about miss jackson's titular controversy, i thought this was funny.
oh yeah. last night's swim practice:
200 w/u
3 x 200 :30 sec Rest Interval, first and last 50 easy, middle 100 faster
4 x [100 easy on 2:30 plus 50 above race pace on 1:30]
8 x 50 free, build 1-4 and 5-8
total: 2000 yards
remember in high school when there was always one person (who was kinda cute) you always seemed to do something stupid around? yeah, well guess who's back in high school. that's right, me. so you remember the debacle of the last swim practice when konrad had to flip me? right, well this was nowhere near as severe as that, but we were doing this set of 3x200, and i left the wall without putting my goggles on. of course, he was standing right there on the deck. i came back and was like, "what the hell am i doing?" marty, bless his heart asked if my goggles fell off. i just agreed, but konrad pipes up and asks me if i even put them on. i said no and felt retarded. whatever, i got a lot on my mind, bucko.
anyway, the practice passed without further incident, but i just can't shake these negative feelings that i've had all week that i'm going to do absolutely horrible in the tri, won't even be able to finish, or the doctors are going to tell me i can't do it. basically every worst case scenario i can think of has been running through my head for the past two weeks. they get stronger as i leave the pool and go into the locker room where i can't even look at anybody. i just feel awful. so after getting dressed, i'm walking out with doreen and donna, and telling them the story of my fall, and coach ian is walking along with us. he offers to fix the problem by kicking my other knee, then puts his arm around me and asks me what happened, and proceeds to give me a pep talk. says i need to keep icing, take anti-inflammatories, start slow, and that my body would surprise me and i would get back to my fitness level before this whole crisis began. at any rate, the talk was just what i needed (even though i almost started crying when i was talking to him). but he really made me feel better. so yay for coach ian!
now, we'll see what the orthopedist says tomorrow. stay tuned.
ps i just sang the whole theme of gilligan's island with joel. it's fun. joel has a theory about maryann... she represents the unemployed because of the following: the passengers of the minnow (excluding gilligan and the skipper) are referred to by their occupation: the millionnaire (businessman), and his wife (homemaker), the movie star, the professor and... maryann?? now, what does maryann do? NOTHING. she's unemployed.
so, now i feel bad because i heard from my doctor today, and she told me she finally received the results of my x-rays yesterday but didn't have enough of a voice to call me (she had lost her voice when i saw her last friday). anyway, she said that an orthopedic radiologist looked at my x-rays and said that there was no breakage, just fluid in my knee which would absorb naturally. so i, of course, had questions. we were able to get in touch today, and she told me that i shouldn't train until the swelling in my knee went down completely because if there is still swelling, then i there is a danger of me causing further damage to my knee. so, i asked her how i know when the swelling is down, and she said that i should come back in to see her when i think it's gone down completely. then she called me back like 2 minutes later and said that i should see an orthopedic specialist. so i have to call tomorrow to schedule an appointment. oh man. this sucks. i am so depressed about this. i feel helpless - hey, knee! heal quicker, will you?
so it's been 5 days since the stupid-ass technician told me that she thought she saw an anomaly. and i still haven't received the official diagnosis from my doctor. i did, however, get an unofficial one from my friend's fiance who is a doctor. he looked at my x-rays and said he spotted a chip. yes, i broke off a piece of my knee. it doesn't really hurt anymore though. it just sometimes feels a little funny and a little sore. but i still don't know how long i should rest the damn thing. i want to get out and at least bike (i've been swimming - swam 1200 meters last night). the tri isn't that far away. i'm nervous about losing what i've worked so hard to build. i'm angry at my doctor for not calling sooner. i feel stupid for falling off my bike.